


Polystyrene (Tamaki X Reader)

by SilentWolf76



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Humor, Other, Randomness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 22:32:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9093673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentWolf76/pseuds/SilentWolf76
Summary: On a rainy day, you decide to enter Music Room 3. Unfortunately, after setting off a chain reaction, you end up trapped with the Host Club. Randomness and polystyrene. Oh, and mushrooms.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I don’t even know why I made this, so don’t ask me. 
> 
> It popped into my mind while I was listening to Culcha Candela, and I was like, ‘hey, why not?’ 
> 
> So here we are.
> 
> Also, it’s not a smooch-smoochy one-shot. It’s a…well, I’m not entirely sure what genre it comes under. Let’s just say it has its own genre, mkay?
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran HSHC

It was a beautiful, sunny day. Nah, I’m just messing. It was raining. Really bad, actually. It was like the Gods were crying for you because you were stuck in a room with a bunch of idiots.

Hang on. Let’s backtrack, shall we?

Walking down the corridor of the ‘elite academy for the rich’ yada-yada-ya, you soon found the door marked ‘Music Room 3’. You didn’t really know why you were currently standing outside this room. You just felt a… _pull_ towards it. Like a magnet. Yes, I am basically saying you’re a walking, talking magnet. You’re welcome.

“Should I? Or should I not? Oh God, I sound like Shakespeare.” You muttered to yourself, placing a hand on the door handle. “Hey, why not? What harm could _possibly_ come into walking into this room? All I want to do is check out some instruments.” You decided.

Oh yes, let’s fill you in on your life. I have already decided your life for you. You’re very welcome.

So basically, your parents own a chain of music shops. That’s all. But they make a lot of money, essentially making you a ‘rich kid’. So here you are, a Rich Kid at a Rich School. Makes sense, yeah?

Opening the door, you automatically wished you hadn’t.

You nearly choked on the rose petals that immediately came flying your way.

Batting them away while coughing, you glared in front of you, only to come face to face with a load of boys stood in the middle of the room, with one in a chair. They were surrounded by roses, and actually looked kinda ho- _no_.

_I’m falling under the spell of some strangers. Am I really that desperate?_

Shaking your head, you turned to walk away but had your chin turned by the blonde that was originally in the chair.

“Welcome to Ouran High School Host Club!”

“Go back to your chair.”

“What type are you looking for?”

“Please go away.”

“The ‘Cool Type’?” He pointed at a tall, black-haired male with glasses and a…clipboard?

“You’re invading my personal space.”

“The ‘Little Devil Type’?” He pointed to two auburn-ish-haired twins who smiled at you cheekily.

“Seriously, I’ll punch you.”

“The ‘Loli-Shota Type’?” He pointed at a small, blonde-haired boy with small flowers round his head.

“I’m warning you.”

“The ‘Strong, Silent Type’?” He pointed at a tall, spiky black-haired male who currently had the little boy scrambling onto his shoulders.

You clenched your fist in preparation to punch the idiot in front of you.

“The ‘Normal Type’?” He pointed to a small-ish brown-haired person who was busy glaring two holes into the back of the blonde’s head.

You raised your fist, aiming straight for that face of his.

“Or maybe the ‘Princely Type’?” He puffed out his chest, holding his hand out to you.

That was then your fist connected with his face.

That was _also_ when a chain reaction occurred.

The blonde flew backwards, crashing into the legs of his chair and sending it flying into the wall behind it. The entire room shook from the collision, and a massive tower swayed dangerously, positioned right next to the entrance.

Instinctively, you jumped forward, just as the huge tower fell over, completely blocking the doorway.

Then the blonde shouted overdramatically, “Oh no! We’re trapped! AHHH!”

‘We’re trapped’.

You’re trapped.

You were all trapped together.

 _Kill me now_.

“I know!” The blonde shouted. “We’ll climb out the window!”

Then it started to rain heavily.

His shoulders sagged. Then he realised something.

Turning, the blonde boy stared at you. “Did…you…hit me?” He asked slowly.

“Yes.” You answered shortly.

“I think you broke my cheek.”

“Probably.”

“I don’t think it’ll ever heal.”

“You’ll be scarred for life.”

That was then it hit him. Of course, you weren’t actually being _serious_ , but _he_ took it _very_ seriously.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY FAAAAAAAAAACCCCCE! MY BEAUTIFUL FAAAAACCCCE! IT’S RUINED! FOREVER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” He started drowning everyone in the room with his tears.

You blinked at his overdramatic reaction, before saying carefully, “You _do_ realise I was _joking_ , right?”

His crying slowed down, and in a split second he was clinging tightly onto the black-haired boy with glasses.

“Mommy! Mommy! The stranger’s horrible! So mean!” He wept into the boy’s shirt.

Sighing, he pushed his glasses further up his nose. “Tamaki, stop overreacting. You do realise that crying makes it bruise, right?” This is not true. ‘Tis a lie. And if it’s right, then I’m a genius. Hooray.

“WHAAAAAAAAT?! NOOOOOOOO! I STOP CRYING NOW!”

He petted Tamaki’s head. “You don’t have to tell us. Just do it.”

Tamaki’s tears immediately stopped. “Thanks, Kyoya. You make a great mommy.”

The small-ish brown-haired boy scoffed, walking over to you. “Rich b*stards.” She swore (I’m kind enough not to put in the full naughty word:P) under her breath.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Canada.”

“Huh?!”

“I’m messing. I’m Haruhi.” He chuckled.

“Oh. Right.”

“Also, I’m a girl, if you’re confused.”

“Oh. Right.”

“What’s your name?”

“(F/N) (L/N).”

“That’s a nice name.”

“Thank you.”

Silence.

“Is…is my name nice?” Haruhi asked.

“Sure. It starts with an ‘H’ and it reminds me of hedgehogs.”

“Excuse me? How does my name remind you of _hedgehogs_?”

“Easy. Your hair’s brown. Hedgehogs’ fur are brown. Also, your name sounds like a good name to call a hedgehog.”

“Er…”

“Take it as a compliment.”

“Okaaaaay…”

“Who are the rest of them?”

Haruhi introduced you to the rest of the idiots – sorry, _host club members._

“So, guess we’re stuck here until all this junk moves.” Haruhi remarked, glancing at the fallen tower.

Suddenly, Tamaki pointed accusingly at the objects blocking their escape. “What is that and what was it doing so close to the door?!”

“It was a tower we made-” Hikaru explained.

“-out of packed boxes.” Kaoru finished.

“What was in them?” Haruhi asked.

Mori suddenly walked forward, Honey still on his shoulders. Grabbing the nearest box, he pulled it away from the mess and ripped the duct tape sealing it.

Everyone except the twins leant closer, interested in what was in the box.

Silently, Mori opened the box, revealing…

…

… _polystyrene_.

“Are you kidding me?!” Tamaki yelled angrily.

“Nope. They’re all full-”

“-of separate polystyrene balls.”

“I need to cry.” Tamaki stated.

“It’ll bruise~” Kyoya reminded in a rather creepy sing-song voice.

“GAH! CAN’T CRY! CAN’T CRY!” The blonde boy suddenly went from sad to angry. “Hikaru! Kaoru! This is your fault! Why would you even _need_ this stuff?!”

“Simple.”

“For a Polystyrene Shower.”

“A _what_?” You asked.

“It’s something-”

“we made up. It’s where you-”

“-drop these boxes of polystyrene on your head.”

“That sounds stupid.” You remarked.

“Come on; try it.”

“No, I’m not going to-”

You were cut off as the twins dumped the entire box of polystyrene on your head.

“YOU TWO! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO A CUSTOMER! YOU EVIL-” Tamaki began yelling.

“SHUT IT, BLONDY! YOU’RE ANNOYING!” You shouted at him angrily.

Tamaki went stark white – literally, even his _clothes_ were completely white, and then he ‘teleported’ into a dark corner and began growing mushrooms.

“(Y/n), go apologize.” Kyoya said.

“How do you know my name?!”

He pushed his glasses up his nose. “I have reliable sources.”

“Whatever. I refuse to go apologize.”

Suddenly, Honey tugged on your clothes. “Please go, (y/n)-chan.” His eyes widened and you couldn’t resist.

“Ugh, fine.” You stomped over to Tamaki, ‘tapping’ him on the shoulder (actually more or less lapping him).

“Oi, I’m here to apologize.”

No response.

“Tamaki?”

Nothing.

“Tamaki-chan?”

You heard crying sounds.

Sighing, you tried something else. “Tamaki-kun?”

The crying slowed down a bit. But not completely.

“Tamaki-san?”

You heard him mumble something incoherent.

“What was that?”

He turned to face you, tears still pouring down his face like twin rivers. It actually creeped you out.

“Call me ‘Onii-chan’.” He repeated in a clearer voice.

“No.”

“My tears water the mushrooms.”

“They’ll grow very tall then.”

“Onii-chan.”

“No.”

“Onii-chan.”

“Shut it.”

“These mushrooms will break through the roof.”

“Free sunroof.”

“Call me Onii-chan and I’ll help you get revenge on the twins.”

“That’s not enough.”

“Call me Onii-chan and I’ll help you get revenge on the twins _and_ I’ll help you escape.”

“Onii-chan.” You mumbled.

He put a hand to his ear, smirking. “What was that? I didn’t quite catch it.”

“Onii-chan.” You raised your voice slightly.

“Still can’t hear you~” he said in a creepy sing-song voice.

“ONII-CHAN!” You yelled, flustered.

Immediately, the rest of the host club ran over.

“You’re related?!” Honey asked excitedly.

“They are pretty similar.” Kyoya stated.

“I don’t think I can be friends with you if you’re related to _him._ ” Haruhi sighed, pointing at Tamaki.

“Nawwww. Now isn’t that sweet? You know, we reckon-” Hikaru began.

“there could be _another_ set of twins in the club!” Kaoru finished.

“WE’RE NOT RELATED!” You shouted, shutting them all up.

“Liar.” Hikaru snorted.

“They’re so similar it hurts.” Kaoru clutched his chest dramatically.

“It hurts you? We can’t have that, now can we?”

“Whatever shall we do?”

Then they both smirked and, in unison, said, “DNA.”

You turned to look at Tamaki. “Get me out of here. I don’t care about revenge anymore. Just _get me out of here._ ”

“You’re not leaving until you’ve experienced a Polystyrene Shower.” Hikaru whispered in your ear, slinging an arm round your shoulders.

“You can go _after_ that.” Kaoru nodded, patting your head.

Sighing, you hung your head. “I don’t have a choice, do I?”

Their smirks grew wider. “Nope.”

“Fine then.”

They dragged you over to the boxes of polystyrene, and showed you how to open a box.

Together, all three of you walked over to Tamaki, and unceremoniously dumped the entire box’s contents on his head.

He screamed like a little girl, shaking his head so violently you were convinced it was going to go flying off.

“YOU THREE ARE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!” He yelled, starting to chase you and the twins.

“Hey, Boss used slang! What’s the world coming to?!” Hikaru teased.

As so, for the rest of the day, (y/n), Hikaru and Kaoru were chased by Angry Blonde Godzilla – sorry, _Tamaki –_ and still, the rain…well, rained down on the ground (and buildings, trees, etc).

The door remained blocked as the host club (and you) began to have a Polystyrene Shower in Music Room 3.

I’m so tempted now to put ‘and they all lived Happily Ever After’. Actually, you know what, since Tamaki always calls himself a Prince, let’s use it.

And they all lived Happily Ever After.

The End.

(I’ve always wanted to do that.)


End file.
